At This Time In Your Life Are You Still Trying To Be A Rock And Roll Star?

No,that is a couple of chapters back in my life.That is fun you know(the rock and roll thing) and I still love to play rock and roll music which is a young wild boy type of a thing.And I waved that flag for an extended period of time.I chose to progress beyond that.I grew older and wanted to develop into different areas.When I moved to Nashville I could not play nor sing country music at all,in fact I hated it,I thought it was a joke.Corny.Then upon being graced by God to actually find paying work as a lead guitar player in Nashville,This is a town where 700 hot shot guitar players a week come to town carrying their guitars and their dreams on a "last chance power drive."Thousands of guys that not only play country and bluegrass,they play any and everything and sizzle your eyeballs with it.At this time say early eighties there was a big and hard line drawn between rock and roll and country music.With well established heavy hitters calling all of the shots.When I auditioned for The Grand Old Oprey I comitted sacriledge at that time to play "Not Fade away." A large group of people chased me out of the Briley Parkway Facility and they were going to beat the living shit out of me.My wife came running up to the stage with my guitar case and unplugged my guitar saying "you have got to get out of here Rene,They want to kill you!"She was right again so we bolted to our baby blue "66" coupe de ville and she drove out of there as though we had just robbed a bank.I tell you,she had that whole crowd suddenly running away from us instead of towards us.That is another story.We kept running all the way back down to FLA.Yet back at the beginning I found,well in all fairness she found for me my first professional road gig.It was one of those things,a band (Pattie Flores)had to go back on the road in a hurry and the guitarist quit.Form years of club date work I could do my little rock thing to kick up a show and she liked it and hired me and it was not to long before it was discovered I could not play country music AT ALL!To the tune of getting a one way bus ticket back to Nashville.My wife and I were starving,I could not lose that gig so I had to learn how to "Twang."Pattie was a real pro operation for an indie,very well known to the dance halls and casinos out west.She was kind enough to give me one more chance to get it together and the guys in the band all helped me to learn how to do it right.And with it modestly putting bread and butter on the table and paying the rent I began to grow to love it.All of that music they played on the van tape deck was now sinking in and I was traveling the same roads and living the same life as country music artists.I loved Pattie's voice,she is a tremendously gifted singer and artist.And now I had a trace of country music on my soul etched forever.Thus back to the point I had progressed and grown.It is within the production and creative development arena where my real home is.Writing and composing.Executing production from stage one.Recording art and science,licensing and publishing.I have a very strong backround there.Forget the limelight and image hassles.My PRO sends me a check and I live a cool life.I am not rich by worldly terms but I am good to go,the bills are paid with some pin money to spare.The newest boy band scored platinum on one of my little tunes.I did not write "Donna" so much to perform it as I did to shop it.(oo)(oo) was done as much to be an advertising jingle for an up and coming cell phone company just as much as it was done to be a radio hit.The New York production staff who also collaborated on the writing...I was working with brilliance.Mark my words,that chorus and ringtone will see the light of day very soon.Today because you are my dear and faithful readers you can get it on your cell for free.It is the hippest ringtone on the block!If it goes off when you are in court it may put a somber federal judge into a good mood.It is the aftershock thing that I have got going with my catalog.To hear it for the first time upfront you may easily dismiss it as trite.I do not dabble around with my colors,themes,and tones.In creative development yes.Every possible approach is considered and tried out.That period is also very much a joy.Singing and playing around campfire light,cooking fresh fish and drinking homemade wine.Demoing it to reel to reel.The recording sessions though are mastering sessions.Pawn to Queen four,a demonstration of skill,jewelers cutting the fawcetts into the raw diamond.I think it is better if you can walk down the street and nobody bothers you.The paparazzi ignores you.Yet you go into the grocery store and one of your songs covered by a famous major label artist is playing,or an elevator.(Stagelight Sonata For Violin)or waiting in line somebody's phone bleeps your ringtone.These are not passing fads they are lasting things.You are not classified as "In the vein of" know,all categorized.You just work one formula over and over and drill it right down into the dirt.Or you play the local dump honky tonk hoping to be "discovered."I don't mind to go and play at the honk for some fun and extra money but I would prefer to go on tour with James Taylor to sing backround vocals or to be in the cast of The Trans Siberian Orchestra in their road show.To sing or to play whatever they think it best for me to do for them.I am very comfortable to be a reliable member of a supporting cast to a good show.A character,performer if you will.I have the time now that my son is grown to be able to travel unlimited in the persuit of adventure.Yet it must be respected that I am a professional.I have the choice and would only consider to work with good people of championship character.People that made it through the rain and paid their dues.I have paid mine in full,both as an artist and a human being.And that is not to say that I am looking down upon anyone,I am both no better and no worse than anyone else.I have my own share of ever present shortcomings,at times I am even an airhead (I hate it when I am an airhead)but I am also a brilliant artist and a genius and more importantly a fine and warm human being full of humilty.I am no stranger to sadness.If it were not for my Mother,my best soldier, being in my corner none of this would even have ever happened.She financed my recorded catlog and wrote the lyrics for my most touching song "That Little Boy Of mine" written as The State of Florida wanted to take him away from me."Rene..I came up with these words while I was working on my lottery numbers,can you write some music for them and sing them?"I put a full production behind it which she loved yet said "all i wanted was for you to just play the guitar and sing."And another unsung hero that I have to name out is my dear friend Sally Robinson who forked out six thousand dollars of her hard earned money to pay for the promotional costs of taking (oo)(oo)to broadcast radio,six thousand dollars that I still owe her.It would be cruelly said that I used my Mother and that I used Sally Robinson for my own selfish purposes.My Mother was well aware of what it was all about.And Sally understood just how hard we had worked and wanted to help us to get it out there when we were high and dry.Nobody does anything of note by themselves,there has got to be wind beneath your wings.Fame in itself is such a hollow shall one day come to find that all of your idols are hollow and empty...stage props at their best.Void of any compassion or real feeling.They sell newsprint.Sensationalist headlines...The shocking truth revealed!They are not perfect,they are not what we originally duped you into believeing what they are and now in order to sell you more of what our journalstic rag represents we are going to demonize them,we built them up and are now going to tear them down revealing you the shocking facts that they are human beings just like you and me.I guess I am mostly kind of rattled because I am also a single parent,so everyday I have to face up to my imperfections with no place to hide.I am so happy about that,I so love my son,I love to grab him and hug him and kiss him all over his forehead fifteen or twenty times.Tell him that he is all the world to me.We together have been through an awful lot.From day number one.He is older now (20) I am no longer over him,we are now equals,two men.It is really fun I have to tell you when it is like this.Over the teenage hump.When, if it is possible, that they recognize that you are only human too.How fortunate I am that he will take the time out of his busy and energetic life to sit and talk with me.Man To Man.I am no longer lecturing and scolding,if he wants my advise about something he will ask me for it.No more wasting time critisizing eachother's shortcomings.Somewhere along the line he accepted the fact that I am not perfect.I can't say for you,it is not my place to do so yet I can say for myself that I do not believe in abortion,as human beings we do not have the right to decide who is to die and who is to live.Being a parent is going to of course be inconvienent,yet if you search yourself and decide that you just can't make this committment which is going to be lifelong there are very competant and capable couples or even singles that can't have children for one reason or the other who would care for and love that child as their own.And in their elder years that child in return would be concerned about their welfare.A fetus whether you like it or not is a life,a human being that has been created.Better if possible that it would not have been created,that is just common sense.You can without too much trouble enjoy a good romp in the old hay and walk away clean.Abotion of a human life to me,and only to me,I cannot speak for you is the most grotesque from of murder I can imagine.With forceps the child's skull is crushed and it is removed from the mothers womb.The unborn child is then placed in a garbage bag and tossed into the dumpster in the alley.Not even the dignity of a reasonable funeral given.A human being murdered and tossed into the dumpster.And we complain about how tough and unfair life is.Again I speak to you about this with all due respect and we all make mistakes,I certainly have made my share.I am responsible for and have to live with them and so do you.So no, I am not still trying to be a rockstar,I could care less.First I am trying to be Dad,just Dad and secondly an artist.You could offer me the best major label deal going with a film contract as well,I could burn paper money on the table at breakfast without a care and all that I would have to give up is my son,my only one.I would thank you for the offer and if because of my choice I would have to clean toilets for a living so it would be.I would be glad at the end of the day of cleaning toilets that I could go home.And those toilets I cleaned,I cleaned them so well you could eat your lunch out of them.Hopefully I would be on the federal government payroll.I would be knocking down sixty grand a year to clean those toilets and still playing a blues jam on monday nights.

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